Do You REALLY Want to Get Married?

I’m gonna be honest and straightforward with you. I believe in the Holy Bible, Scriptural, Word of God, Uncompromised definition of Marriage. One Man legally, morally, ethically and eternally joined to One Woman for All Time in a mutually committed, mutually monogamous, mutually self-sacrificing relationship.

By that definition, you may ask yourself, “Do I really want to get married?” By that definition and by my own experience of matrimony, my answer is “YES!”
As a woman, when you commit yourself to that One man forever, in submission and respect to his loving and self-sacrificial leadership, you are experiencing the closest relationship to the one you will have with Christ in Heaven that you can possibly have in this life.
Men, the responsibility is yours to make the relationship like the one between Christ and The Church. In the Book of Ephesians, chapter 5, beginning at verse 21, the Apostle Paul, an unmarried man with nothing personal to gain by instructing any other man or woman in the fine points of marital bliss, relates what Holy Spirit tells him is the key to marriage according to the Father of All.
“21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[b] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and the two will become one flesh.”32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”
He begins by giving instruction to both husbands and wives, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”

Men seem to miss that little tidbit quite often. We, as husbands, are COMMANDED to submit to our wives as they are COMMANDED to submit to their husbands simultaneously and with a distinct purpose. Not because either party deserves it, but in reverence for Christ, himself. It is an act of worship and obedience.
He goes on to devote three verses to instruction for wives to, “… submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. … as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”

First, notice the qualifier, “your OWN husband”. God’s command is for wives to submit, respect and follow the loving and self-sacrificing leadership of their own husband. This is an admonition and instruction for marital fidelity and that the wife is never to give that respect that is due her husband to another man, no matter who he is. Fathers, brothers, pastors, counselors and especially your friend’s husband must always take the back seat to your own husband. Ladies, your model is given as The Church to Christ and the boundary is clearly stated as “… submit to their husbands in everything.” Wow. Pretty strong words. But trust me, you are getting off easy. The next NINE verses are aimed right between the eyes of us, your husbands.
Guys, you want a “submissive” wife? Get ready to put your workin’ britches on, ’cause her response is exactly that, a response to YOUR obedience to God’s instructions to you!
” Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.”

Hmmmm. How did Christ love The Church? Well, let’s see… He knew when He created mankind that we would wilfully sin, and He would have to give up His place in Heaven and become the sacrifice for sin in order to return humanity to a right relationship with God, but He let us live anyway. He set aside His throne and position to become human, going through birth, potty training, zits, puberty (and lived a celibate life) bad food, no showers, walking everywhere He went. Then on top of that, He invested His life in twelve men every day for three years, then had one turn Him in on false charges to be beaten, stripped, ridiculed and nailed to a cross while all the others except one ran away and left Him to die.

How we stacking up so far, fellas? Think our wives are feelin’ the love while we’re glued to the game when she just wants to talk to us about her day?
Let’s move on, “In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church for we are members of His body.”

This should be the easy one, love her as we do our own bodies. As we’re shoving hot dogs, pizza and beer down our gullet! Boys, we have a responsibility to take care of ourselves for our wife. Not just so she won’t be checking out the “Fabios” at the fitness center, but because how we take care of ourselves is a reflection of the importance we place on being able to care for and protect our wife. If I had to carry my wife’s unconscious body out of a burning building right now, we’d both end up extra crispy. But I’m working on it because I’ve come to understand that as Christ sacrificed all for His Church, I must sacrifice my all for my wife.
“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”
As we read these last few verses, we see what Paul calls a “profound mystery”. In marriage, a man and a woman become One Flesh. This is the picture of how Christ and The Church are made One by the sacrifice of His Blood and the commitment of Man to submit to Christ as Lord.

Then he ends with the exhortation of each husband must love his wife as he loves himself and his wife must respect her husband. These are straightforward commands. It is not enough to have the attitude that “I’m willing to die for my wife.” or “I’m willing to give my husband the respect he deserves.”

Nowhere in scripture does God say “submit or respect as he earns it”. Wives, respect your husband whether he earns it or not. It is obedience to Christ.
Husbands, forget about being willing to die for your wife, willing is for wusses. LIVE for your wife, willing is not doing. Doing is doing.
So, do you REALLY want to get married? I say Go for it. But only if you’re committed to LIVING it, not just willing to try. Believe me, God’s Purpose for marriage is the closest thing you’ll ever experience to Heaven on this side of the Border.